A Reason to Die, A reason to Live
by Hannahmayski
Summary: Shisui pulls himself off the dirt, clutching one hand over his empty eye socket because his eye is gone and tries to get his legs under him. He is dying. He is dying and he has no one to turn to. AU, Shisui lives.


**Summary: Shisui pulls himself off the dirt, clutching one hand over his empty eye socket because his eye is igone/i and tries to get his legs under him. He is dying. He is dying and he has no one to turn to.**

 **AU, Shisui lives.**

The afternoon is calm.

The trees remain still as they have ever been and the birds are unusually quiet tonight as if they're mourning Shisui's loss.

Shisui's heart pounds frantically in his chest like drums beating in his ears.

He pulls himself off the dirt, clutching one hand over his empty eye socket because his eye is _fucking gone_ and tries to get his legs under him.

His co-ordination is shot to hell but that doesn't matter because he's dying. He's been poisoned and Danzou's goons are going to find him sooner rather than later to take his other eye and do whatever the fuck they want with his body and he's _dying._

He can't go to the Uchiha, not with coup so close to happening, and he has no allies in the main clans. He doesn't really have allies in the minor clans either.

Shisui leans against a tree, heaving in breaths that are harder and harder to come by.

 _He has no allies._

It's been a long time since he's had a solid support system of people to lean on. He loves the village, and he loves his clan, but he's been a double agent for so long, working with and against both forces to the point where he's spread thin it's as though he's going to snap.

He wants the best for Konoha, and he wants the best for his clan.

Itachi is the only one he can trust. But they've been dancing around their problems for too long, unwilling to confide too much in one another in an attempt to keep the already crushing weight on their shoulders to a minimum.

All he has done for so long is fight and fight and train and train trying to fill the chasm of expectation left by his grandfather and Uchiha descendants. And for what?

He pushes himself forward and grips the next tree trunk harder as the black spots in his vision threaten to take over. He forces another step forward.

There's a gaping hole in his chest that he can't seem to fill, he's been holding himself together for so many years with makeshift duct tape as he fought in the third shinobi war, as he fought the Kyuubi, as he watched all his friends die and awakened his Sharingan and then his Mangekyo Sharingan, as he dove deeper and deeper into the most confidential missions Konoha could throw at him.

He's been keeping his head above the water, but that's all he's been doing.

He stops moving as his vision blurs together – the trees clumping together into indistinguishable blobs of green and brown.

Shisui is dying, but he pulls himself forward mindlessly. He is dying, but he's not dead yet.

He doesn't remember arriving at the Hokage's office.

He doesn't remember collapsing in front of the Hokage and the two other shinobi in the room.

But these events must have occurred because the Hokage leans over him, brow creased in obvious concern.

Shisui opens his mouth to speak, to explain and winces as all that comes out is wet cough. The shinobi crouched next to the Hokage grasps his shoulders and turns him onto his side and rubs his back.

Blood pools from his mouth brought up from the cough but thankfully the shinobi's hands don't leave his shoulders, holding him place.

For a few moments everything goes dark. He hears voices, but he cannot focus enough to make them out.

His heart still pounds too fast, beating against his chest and breathing feels like far too much effort like someone is laying across his chest.

He comes too again with one word on his mind, he opens his eyes and sees the shinobi from before – Inuzuka Tsume he realises absently – and another shinobi, Aburame Shibi.

He's been stripped of his shirt and there's someone holding gauze over the right side of his face. He's not sure where he is anymore but still, he needs to tell _someone._ That's why he dragged his failing body halfway across Konoha.

"D-Danzou," he breaks off into a cough and doesn't notice the blood that drips down his lips.

Several blurred heads appear in his field of vision.

Tsume leans in closer, brushing his hair off of his forehead and beckons him to continue.

Shisui finds himself reaching up, his hand means to touch the empty socket, but someone grasps his hand and lowers it to rest near his chest. "My eye…" it comes out a mere whisper and blackness fades upon him again before he can say any more on the matter.

Shisui opens his eyes again a moment later, with the Hokage peering over him, holding Shisui stable as he is poked and prodded.

He can't work out if he's still in the Hokage's office or somewhere else entirely but the Hokage's here.

Sarutobi wouldn't let Danzou finish the job. Surely not. He has to be safe here.

But he also didn't think Danzou would steal his Sharingan.

He curses himself because _of course he's not safe here._ Danzou spends so much time in this very building and Shisui literally walked into the palm of his hand. His operatives are probably waiting for him, waiting for the right moment to finish what Danzou started.

He tries to pull himself off the ground and curses to himself as his arms shake. There are hands on his shoulders pushing him back down and a hand running through his hair.

He forces his eyes – his _eye –_ open and blinks up at the figure leaning over him. Wild hair and markings on her face.

Tsume pulls what he vaguely realises is blankets over him and whispers to him. "You're safe now, you've done enough. We've got it under control."

Sleep drags him back under, but he doesn't fight it this time. He's strangely comforted by her words despite being unable to tell if she is lying to him.

It's pathetic, to be comforted by empty words of who might as well be a stranger especially when it's his own fault he let Danzou get the better of him, but he can't find it in him to care.

The next time Shisui wakes up is twelve hours later.

The walls are an awful, bleary white and there's the persistent sound of a heart monitor next to him. _Hospital_ is his first thought.

The right side of his face is numb in a way that is more unpleasant than when he could feel it. He turns his head to his left and tries not to cry out at the pain that still echoes through every movement.

The tired face of Itachi greets him, although he's asleep, head resting on his shoulder that will make his neck entirely stiff when he wakes up. Sasuke is curled in his lap and absently playing with a loose strand of string from his shirt.

Sasuke glances up and pauses, his eyes widen as he realises Shisui is awake.

He clambers off Itachi's lap and throws himself at Shisui, wrapping his arms around him and buries his head into Shisui's hair.

Shisui grunts as the air is knocked out of him but he can't find it in him to mind. He wraps his arms around Sasuke's waist and lets himself forget all the pain for an undeserving blissful moment.

He feels the mattress dip as Itachi leans over and peers at Shisui's face with more worry Shisui has ever seen on him. Shisui reaches his hand out, placing it on Itachi's head soft strands tangling in his loose fingers.

Sasuke turns his head from Shisui's hair to watch the exchange, but doesn't let go.

"You're always comforting me." Itachi whispers. "Even though- even though your _eye-_ " His voice is strains and cracks.

Shisui doesn't think he can get his voice to work properly with the desert that his mouth has become but tries anyway because this is _Itachi._

"My fault, don't worry," Shisui says and cringes at how scratchy his voice is.

Sasuke's head shoots up at that and his arms tighten around Shisui almost painfully. "No!" he says far louder than necessary. "You did your best, just means you gotta get stronger!"

Shisui does not deserve Sasuke. No one deserves Sasuke, really.

His eyes burn, and he blinks away the tears that threaten to fall.

The door to his room is slammed open with unnecessary force and interrupts the moment. The head of the Inuzuka clan strolls in, holding her youngest son's hand.

She smiles at him, the unhinged nature of her grin is surprisingly missing. "Gave me one hell of a scare kid, I was worried the Hokage was going to have a heart attack."

Her son waves at Sasuke who nods back, still unwilling to detangle himself from Shisui.

Shisui looks up at her as she walks over and strains himself to remember the events following his struggle to get out of the forest and draws up blurry images of familiar faces and the thick, heavy panic of disorientation and darkness.

"I was in the Hokage office when you came in, squirt," she explains anyway.

Kiba comes up to his bed side and sniffs. He turns back to Tsume and nods. "He doesn't smell as sick anymore, ma!"

Tsume grins, canines flashing and ruffles Kiba's hair in pride.

She turns to Shisui again, coming up to the end of the bed. Her eyes bore into his, and she seems to sense all the stress that's been bottling up inside him. She glances at Itachi and Sasuke and looks back at him.

"You don't need to worry about Danzou. He won't get away easily with what he's done." She gives his foot a pat and seems to understand the gravity of his situation.

Shisui is missing an eye. But it's different for him because he's an Uchiha. He holds one of the strongest Mangekyo Sharingan the Uchiha have ever seen, and he _lost_ it.

Tsume seems to understand. The way she looks at him is as though she can feel the shame that burns through him. Shisui's only interacted with a handful of Inuzuka in his life but can't help but feel they've been terribly underestimated.

Kiba wraps his tiny hand around Shisui's and glares into his face with an adorable ferocity that when he's older could really turn into something terrifying. "Uchiha-san!" Kiba says "You may not be as sick as you were but even I can smell that you're still not well and I'm still small!"

Kiba squeezes his hand again as Sasuke nods his head against Shisui's chest, watching Kiba with appraising eyes.

"You've gotta rest, mister. You don't need to stress, my ma's got it handled!" Kiba doesn't let go of his hand and rocks on the balls of his feet. He leans in close to Shisui's face and cups his spare hand over the corner of his mouth and shoots a cautious glance at his mother.

"Ma's really scary, she'll protect you." Kiba whispers.

Shisui opens his mouth to reply and finds himself at a loss. When did small children get so good at giving advice? What happened while he was unconscious?

Itachi makes a low noise in the back of his throat like he isn't sure if he wants to start laughing or crying and Sasuke looks at Shisui's face again, brow creased in passive aggressive protectiveness.

Tsume intervenes then, tugging on a wild strand of Kiba's hair. "Come on pup, I've got some yelling to do,"

Kiba very carefully detangles his hand out of Shisui's hand and waves at all of them.

"I'll be back later, get some rest," Tsume says and feels that was somehow directed to everyone in the room and not just him.

"I wanna see Inuzuka-san yell at people…" Sasuke whispers and whips his head around to Itachi for approval.

Itachi nods, looking slightly dazed, "Just ask her first, okay?"

Sasuke cheers and detangles himself from Shisui, giving him a pat on the stomach before charging out the door.

Shisui's head swims slightly and he rubs his hand over the left side of his face.

After Danzou poisoned him and tore out his eye he expected to die.

But he isn't dead.

He's not sure what to do about that.

But, it seems like the coup's been stopped, even if only delayed and the clan heads apparently know about it now.

The weight that's been baring down on his shoulder's for so long has finally eased and he can't find it in him to feel guilty for loading it onto other's shoulders.

Shisui hadn't planned for his survival, hadn't taken that into account because he'd been surviving and accounting everything in terms of the clan and the village. He can't remember the last time he really did anything for himself.

His death was going to save his clan, so he was going to alert the Hokage about Danzou's plan and then he would die.

He's alive. And, thinking about Sasuke, Tsume, Kiba and Itachi… he's surprisingly happy about that.

It's still not perfect.

There's still bad blood between Konoha and the Uchiha and Shisui's an even bigger part of that than he was before, a liaison between both sides. But this time he has people to lean on. He has support beyond Itachi.

Kakashi has been helping him adjust to fighting with one eye and accidentally dragged many others into his rehabilitation as well – Genma, Raidou, Tenzou, Itachi and even some of the clan heads have been helping him.

It's still not perfect, but it's better than Shisui ever thought it could be.

 **I've been thinking about Shisui recently and it just breaks my heart whenever I do. I wanted him to live, so I made this!**

 **Hope you enjoyed, kids.**


End file.
